


Going Back

by Cali_se



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-22
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-22 23:04:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cali_se/pseuds/Cali_se
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Memories of Jack come swirling down thick and fast round Ennis these days...</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Back

**Author's Note:**

> As Ennis gets older, instead of fading with the passing of time, his memories of Jack grow ever more real to him.

Memories of Jack come swirling down thick and fast round Ennis these days, like tobacco smoke misting up his eyes 'til he can see nothing else. Sometimes, during the long and lonesome nights, the memories are so vivid he can almost feel Jack beneath him - hot and tight and writhing, his breath coming thick and fast, smelling of cheap whiskey and cigarettes. Ennis wraps his arms around himself in the darkness of his trailer, waiting for the intense waves of longing, pleasure and pain to wash steadily over him, and his thoughts roll over inside his mind, moving inevitably back to the last night he ever spent in Jack's arms.

Jack's nakedness had felt like a warm, safe haven on that cold night, as he'd covered Ennis's body with his own - once young and firm, now changed by the years, thicker around the waist and stockier - as each sought solace in the other, keeping safe from the knowledge that their short time together was almost over. That night they'd made love with all the powerful desperation of younger men - Ennis thrusting hard and fast as Jack urged him home through gritted teeth to a climax that left them both trembling. In the morning, fixing Ennis with a gaze far too tender and far too intense, Jack had reached out to touch his cheek, asking silent questions that Ennis still daren’t answer. Ever since, the gesture had haunted Ennis, sounding echoes in his mind of Brokeback that first summer, when each man had first tasted love and been too afraid to name it.

Nowadays, it's often approaching dawn before Ennis drifts into some kind of slumber, face pressed against a damp pillow, surrounded by ghosts more real to him now than life: the rushing stream flowing free and unchained near their camp, the feel of fresh mountain air on his face; the warmth of the camp fire, amber gold and fiery red, throwing out sparks into the darkness; the shrill whinny of his bay mare as she idly grazed, and the distant sound of Jack's harmonica playing tunes that Ennis could never quite name...

And Jack himself: young again and smiling, squinting into the dust-speckled sun, black hat tipped back, his voice but a whisper on the breeze:

“I'm waitin' for you, Ennis."


End file.
